Who Foots the Bill on Dates?

It's that moment at the end of the dinner date when the bill arrives, and you and your date both reach for it. It can be tough to know when to pull out your wallet and when to let a girl pay. Who should pay on the first date? When should you allow a girl to pay?

Once you've been dating a girl for awhile, you'll be much more comfortable with discussing financial matters, and can easily work out who will pay for a night out. But, when you're on a first or second date, it can be difficult to figure out, so here are a few dating tips to help you.

First Date Tips

It is still commonly expected for the guy to pay on the first date. While many girls will attempt to be polite and offer to pick up the check or split it down the middle, you should always make a genuine effort to cover it all, before she has a chance to reach for the billfold. It's the gentlemanly thing to do, and many women will think a man who doesn't offer to pay is incredibly cheap.

If a woman is adamant about paying, respect what she's saying. Some women feel insulted if a man insists on paying – it makes them feel patronized, or that they can't afford to pay their own way. Or, if a woman is not interested in a second date with you, she may feel guilty about letting you pay, and doesn't want to feel that she now “owes” you a second date.

Another exception to the first date rule: if the woman asked you out. You should still offer to pay, but if she took you to a movie or out to lunch, she may want to treat you.

Dutch Dating Tips

Dutch dating is extremely popular these days. Dutch dating is when you split the bill 50/50, and it usually happens once you're in an established relationship, or have at least gotten past the first few dates. After an initial date or two, you should not have to make the gesture to pay for everything. If you've been dating a girl for awhile who never offers to pay, you may have to bring up the subject and have an honest discussion with her.

If you are Dutch dating, it's tacky to get too technical – whipping out a calculator because she had a glass of wine and you had a less expensive beer is not necessary. Split it right down the middle, and don't worry about a few dollars here or there.

Free Dating Tips

Just because you asked a girl out on a date doesn't mean that it has to cost much money, or any money at all. You could offer to cook dinner at your home - this impresses girls much more than any expensive restaurant meal will. You could go for an evening walk by the water, or take advantage of a free event in your town. However, make sure you aren't always taking a girl on free dates to avoid paying for a night out. This looks cheap; you should make the effort to treat her sometimes.

There are no real hard and fast rules when it comes to deciding who pays. A good rule of thumb is to pick up the check on the first date, and then expect Dutch dating or alternating who pays each time you go out after that. It's better to look at each individual situation, and do what makes you and your date the most comfortable.