The Country

The Russian Federation stretches across Central and East Europe, hovering above northern Asia. The largest country in the world, almost twice the size of the United States, Russia’s birth can be traced back to the 3rd Century AD, when the Eastern Slavs raised the banner of Kievan Rus by the Volkhov River in Novgorod. The Rus are long thought to be of Nordic origins, specifically the Varangians and the term Russia means ‘people of the Rus’.

The influx of the Slavic, Byzantine and Christian cultures the for the next five centuries laid the foundation for the new Russian identity, the most evident example being the magnificent neoclassical group of structures in St.Petersburg, labeled by UNESCO as “The Historic Centre of Saint Petersburg and Related Groups of Monuments”.

The nation of 140 million is one of the few countries with a negative population growth rate, losing as much as 3 million citizens annually to death and migration. The low birth rate has prompted aggressive efforts by the government to encourage larger families and welcoming immigrants. Ethnic Russians makes up over 80% of the population and the dominant religion is the Russian Christian Orthodoxy Church. However, census has shown that a full third of the population remains agnostic while Islam now accounts for almost 20 million adherents. Russian is spoken nationwide despite the fact that over 100 languages is still used among the various ethnic sub-groups in the country.

Following the 1993 constitutional crisis and the subsequent political revolution, the country is now classified as a semi-presidential republic. The titular head of state is the President with the Prime Minister acting as the head of government.

Relationship With A Russian Woman

Russian women, despite popular believe, do not speak heavily accented English nor do they carry an automatic weapon to bed. In addition, strapless, backless and long slits evening gowns are generally unsuitable in the freezing weather.

They are however, well known for their maternal qualities, respect for the institution of marriage and a fine understanding of the power-sharing concept. They generally defer to the decision of men on matters involving finances and property. However, their authority involving domestic matters should never be questioned, unless you are craving for a dose of hypothermia, which is easily achievable by sleeping on the front porch.

Foreigners should also know that despite their loving personality, Russian women, thought to be amongst the most educated in the world, are not accustomed to public displays of affection and commonly refrain from excessive intimacy even in private, although this may be less obvious in the larger metropolitans.

In Russian culture, men are traditionally expected to be generous with gifts such as flowers, candies and article of clothing during courtship. However, be aware that flowers must be given in odd numbers as even numbered bouquets are considered bad luck and are given only for funerals.

Marriage

Now that you’ve grown used to the smothering tendencies of your Russian girlfriend, you are considering sealing the relationship in the eyes of God. How should you go about it?

To begin with, marriage is a relatively stark affair here, probably owing to the socialist dogmas of the 20th century. Engagement is a foreign concept and marriage is planned immediately after she accepts your proposal. Rings are not a prerequisite for this, and neither are flowers or a mariachi band. Upon receiving consent from her, a visit to the Zapis Aktov Grazhdanskogo Sostoyaniya (ZAGS, or Department of Registration of Civil Statuses) is the first order of business. This is important as marriage registration is conducted strictly by appointment only and the waiting period is between one to two months.

With that out of the way, you can now concentrate on the wedding arrangements. In Russian society, marriage normally involves only family and close friends, so wedding cards are optional. Wedding rings are usually plain gold bands and the wedding dress are normally sewed by your wife to be (Russian girls are taught sewing as part of their school curriculum while the boys, general carpentry, craftsmanship and vodka appreciation). Considering the exchange rate (One American dollar is equivalent to six medium cost 3 bedroom apartments), these savings could quickly add up to a substantial amount.

Here’s an interesting fact about wedding bands in Russia. Contemporary western culture dictates that wedding bands are placed on the fourth finger of the left hand. This dates back to ancient Roman belief that the left ring finger has veins that directly connects to the heart. However, in Russia, it signifies a widow or a divorcee. A wedding band has to be worn on the right hand here.

Now comes the hardest part of the wedding – the wedding train. If there is one notable difference between Russian weddings and everyone else’s, it is the car train. Big black cars (although SUV’s and limos are much preferred) forming a long contingent to pick up the bride at her house. The longer the train, the higher your status within the community. This might be when you’ll need to cough up some hard cash for rentals and drivers to look good in front of your in-laws. It will probably set you back around two dollars each for a week’s rental of the Cayenne.

The bride’s relatives will make demands to the groom before they let her leave. This tradition, ransoming of the bride, was probably influenced by the Committee for State Security (KGB), famed for its nation building exercise. The demands can be in the form of naughty questions, gifts, manly tasks (lifting things, poetry, dancing), riddles and much more. Upon successfully negotiating the release of the bride, the convoy will head to ZAGS for the registration. You will be pleased to know that ZAGS officials are sent for annual drama classes, empowering them with the necessary skill sets to enhance the overall tone and emotional content of the service. After the wedding band exchange, the artificially manufactured emotional atmosphere and the signing, the reception would follow immediately after.

Normally held in either one of the couple’s home, the main course for the feast is the liquor. The newlyweds and the guests are expected to be stone drunk by the end of the evening. In fact, forget about the food. Concentrate on the liquor; cheap vodkas and cheap beers are always staples for Russian weddings. If you would like increase your standing with the community, include an ample supply of wines, either red or white or green – it doesn’t matter. And it will only cost you an additional $4 per truckload.

The drinking will be temporarily halted to commence a popular activity during Russian weddings, the karavay. Starting with the couple and followed by the immediate family, they are required to take turns eating from a loaf of bread. Not only does this signify continued prosperity for the couple and their family, it also determines the head of the family by virtue of the biggest eater. Puzzled? You have to be Russian to appreciate this.

Cries of ‘gorko’ by guests signal the last event of the evening. The couple stands and begins kissing, with loud encouragements from the appreciative crowd. The theory goes, the longer the kiss, the stronger the bond between the couple. It’s a Russian thing.

As the evening concludes, the bride and the groom leaves the dining area under showers of rose petals and oats, believed to bring prosperity and long lives for them.

Regulation

As indicated, the marriage registration requires an appointment. The waiting period regularly exceeds one month. Before going, there are a few things you need to be prepared for in advance.

To begin with, you will need to prepare an affidavit stating your current marital status, which requires notarization from your embassy. Next, bring the affidavit to the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Department of Legalization, for authentication purposes. After which, in a sterling display of bureaucratic efficiency, you are to bring the authenticated affidavit to the Bureau of Interpreters to translate it to Russian.

Once you’re done, present the affidavits, together with notarized copies of your identification papers to ZAGS for your marriage registration appointment. Good luck!