The Country

Located at the southernmost tip of the African continent, The Republic of South Africa shares its borders with Botswana, Lesotho, Mozambique, Namibia, Swaziland and Zimbabwe on its north, while its flanks are cradled by the Atlantic and Indian Ocean on its east, west and south.

Politically classified as a federal republic, the country of 50 million is well on its way towards leaving its painful apartheid past behind. A quarter of a century since the end of the apartheid regime, South Africa continues to be a respected player in the regional and world’s political, economic and sporting spheres.

The country is headed by an elected president, on a maximum two five-year terms. The president, as well as being the highest ranked executive in the country, is also the de facto head of state. The 400 member, elected, National Assembly provides legislative support as well as oversight powers over the president.

Demographically, the country is overwhelmingly dominated by ethnic Africans, with approximately 80% of the population. Caucasians - of Dutch, Anglo-Saxon, Scandinavian, Slavic and Baltic ancestry - constitutes another 10% of the population.

Among the 11 official languages of the land, Zulu, Afrikaans and South African English are the most widely spoken while Christianity is the dominant religion of the country with over four-fifths of the population considering themselves as one. It is worth noting that Christianity in South Africa has strong elements of the local indigenous beliefs incorporated in them.

Relationship With A South African Woman

Her fiery eyes, her brilliant smile and the regal way that she moves is starting to give you sleepless nights, and your daydreams are filled with the thought of her. Yet, you are a worried about disrespecting the cultural and the social customs of the land.

Fear not, my friend. South Africa, and Africa for that matter, being the cradle of humanity, possesses a very diverse and rich culture, and along with that, the people are very empathic in their nature, with an easy acceptance of the differences in the cultures and traditions of outlanders. While they remain fiercely clannish in their outlook, they are also very welcoming to strangers.

Respect her as a woman, and as a daughter, and you will not go wrong.

Marriage

The relationship with your South African girlfriend has progressed well, and you have both decided to finally solemnize your relationship through a wedding. How should you go about it?

The first step would be to ask for her hand in marriage from her family. This symbolic, and slightly intimidating affair to outsiders, will be carried in advance of any wedding discussion.

At a prearranged time, your delegation, consisting of an equal number of men and women, will visit the home of your future bride. The women of your delegation will be carrying baskets of lobolla, which is a form of dowry, containing clothing, jewelries and sometimes even exotic food.

Upon arrival at your girlfriend’s home, the male in your party will be directed to a discussion area around a fire in the compound, while the female of your group remains seated on the opposite part of the house. While the men folk are discussing the terms of the marriage, the women of the house will start to inspect the contents of the lobolla and in following an age-old custom, proceed to disparage the contents of the lobolla. This symbolic gesture is meant to highlight the value of the woman that is being courted, and typically, only ends after the men have reached an agreement. Following the agreement, which would include mentions of the wedding and reception expenses, your delegation will finally be invited into their home for some refreshments.

On the day of your wedding, you will wait for your bride at the church, and she will arrive in a colorful and noisy procession of relatives, neighbors, friends and well-wishers. The ceremony will be officiated by a priest in almost the same manner as a western wedding, with the vows, rings and kiss. One notable difference would be the symbols of life ceremony, which is very prevalent in the African culture. This traditional ceremony, an ode to life and its bountiful nature, consist of twelve items (a copy of the Bible and Quran, herbs, water, wine, salt, pepper, a pot, spoon, a spear, a shield, a jar of honey and a broom) arranged around a candle or small fire.

Upon conclusion, the both of you will head for the Karamu reception – a very unique affair, as it will first involve the benediction of the spirits of the ancestors, and the summoning of these spirits to lay watch on you and your new bride. The reception will begin after that, as guests indulge in the feast, amidst the riot of tribal music, which will eventually wind down as the night progresses.

As you and your new bride returns home later that night, your in-laws will light a torch from the fire in their own home well in advance, and enters into your abode first, lightning up the torches in your house – a true passing of the fire symbol.

Regulation

Marriages in South Africa fall under the jurisdiction of the Department of Home Affairs. The marriage ceremony must be conducted either in their office or at a religious establishment. Note that marriages here will legally convert all assets into communal property.

On your wedding day, please submit a fully filled form B1-31 together with copies of your travelling and identification papers to the Department. The solemnization must be witnessed by two adults and upon conclusion, you will immediately be issued with a marriage certificate.

The marriage certificate will then need to be registered with the National Population Register, Department of Home Affairs, with a completed declaration form (BI-130).